iLove Him More
by livyrosebud
Summary: I wasn't going to deny that she loved. It was just that I loved him more. Seddie, with a little Creddie


Hello everybody. This is my first iCarly fic, so we'll see how it goes.

Disclaimer: Yeah, Dan gave me the rights to the show as a Christmas gift. No I don't own iCarly!!

I wasn't going to deny that she loved him.

It was obvious-painfully obvious-how in love both of them were. The side glances, the smiles, all the little things would have made it obvious even if you took out the way they talked about each other. 'He has the most amazing eyes' 'She's the most wonderful person I've ever met' And of course-

'I think he/she's the one'

I don't think either one meant to hurt me when they said these things. Of course they didn't- they had no idea how I felt about him. Nobody did. I made sure of that, because I wasn't blind. It had always been easy to see the way they had felt for each other, even if she would have denied it in a second in the beginning. Over time, however, she had let her walls come down, and one thing led to another, and suddenly they were the school's 'Most Unlikely Couple'. 'Cutest Couple'. And I was left in the dust.

At first I thought it might not last. Wishful thinking, perhaps, but I couldn't help myself. But then, I thought, I still wouldn't be able to be with him. Girl Code Rule #1: You never, EVER date your best friend's ex. And, although she had (however unknowingly) broken my heart, we were still best friends.

The years went on. Despite a few (well, more than a few) arguments, they stayed together. I dated guy after guy, attempting to keep my mind off _him._Unfortunately, it never worked. They were all the same: good-looking, big-headed jocks, who were in serious need of a personality. I went through them so quickly, I could barely even remember any of their names. All I knew is that they all had some physical trait that resembled Freddie. One had the same colored eyes. Another was the same height, and I could imagine how it would feel with his arms around me....

I know what you're thinking now. _Oh, she's just some jealous bitch who cares more about her own happiness than that of her best friends. _Well, that's not true. I was happy that he was happy with her, but you can't blame me for getting jealous at times. After all, I'm only human.

So,more time went by. My feelings stayed the same, and so did theirs . They dated through high school, while I watched on, doing my best to keep my insane jealousy from showing. When it came time to choose colleges, she studied for hours on end in order to get into a college that wouldn't be to degrading for him. I also happen to know that he turned down a Harvard acceptance because she didn't make the cut. They both ended up going to Brown University, while I was across the country at the University of California. They both told me how upset they were that we wouldn't be able to see each other, but I could see that their happiness at being in the same college was much greater than any remorse they had at being separated from little old me.

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. As I found, that is both true and false. Naturally I yearned for him every day, the pain of separation great. However, not seeing him allowed me to imagine that perhaps they weren't together anymore, which was of course more wishful thinking on my part. It did help ease my pain however, to construct wild fantasies were I was his perfect girlfriend, and she wasn't madly in love with him. Yet more wishful thinking on my part, but after a while, I couldn't help but think my wish might come true.

As it turns out, I was horribly, horribly wrong.

I remember the day clearly, even though I wish I could completely erase it from my mind. I remember sitting down at my computer desk, opening my e-mail, and seeing one new message from _._

I vividly remember my heart starting to beat faster. Was this possibly what I thought it could be? Him telling me that they had broken up, or (even better!) he had realized that it was me that he truely wanted?

My hopes finally high again after all these years, I double clicked the message, and waited patiently for my dinosaur that called itself a computer to open it. Drumming my fingers, I had comtiplated ways to reply. _Oh I'm so sorry....Freddie, I have to tell you something. I love you._

But then, the message had finally opened, and all my hopes and dreams were instantly crushed, defeated, down the drain. It wasn't a declaration of love...it was a wedding invitation.

Refusing to let myself cry, I had forced myself to read through the invite, even though most of it was lost on me. Little pieces stuck though- January 3rd, 2:00 in the Seattle Park, hope to see you there!, and so on. There was also a footnote for me especially at the bottom.

_Carls-_

_Hey, so me and the dork are getting married. Crazy huh? Who would've guessed? Anyways, it sucks that we haven't been able to get in touch. But you're still my best friend, and it would be great if you could be my maid of honor. E-mail me back, and meet me at Spencer's next Saturday, and I'll let you help me pick out a wedding dress. Just nothing with frills or lace, okay?_

_Love ya-_

_Sam_

That was when I began crying, and laughing at the same time. Crying at my crushing defeat in a battle only I knew was going on, laughing, however sadistically, at how soap-opera-ish this was. Being asked to be a maid of honor in a wedding of which I desperatly wanted to be the bride. How cliche.

Sam obviously had no clue how much I had given up in denying Freddie's advances towards me when we were young. How could she- I had made sure to deny any more than friendly feelings I had for him, because I didn't want to break her heart. It had always been obvious that she loved him.

But I had, and always would, love him more.

So, was anybody fooled into thinking it was Sam narrating? No?............alright then! I suppose this was really more of an angsty Creddie than Seddie, but hey whatevs. I don't really think Carly's secretly in love with Freddie, and is just hiding it because she can see how Sam and Freddie feel for each other, but I really couldn't help but write this. If somebody has already done something like this, i am extremely sorry, and had no intention of copying your work.

Also, who loved Sam and Freddie's kiss? And who recorded it and watched it over and over the next day!!!

Read and review people! I'll accept any types of reviews, just try to keep the language clean, little peoples can read this stuff too, you know!

-livyrosebud


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